Going through a separation is never easy.
It’s bound to be emotional on both sides, and no matter what you do, it’s going to be hard on your children (although there are ways to try and soften the big change for them).
Children often struggle to understand what is happening fully – especially if they are younger – and they may experience a mixture of emotions, including confusion and sadness.
With the above in mind, when going through a separation, it’s important you try your best to make it as easy as possible for your children.
And ways to do this include keeping to a routine for them, being open with your communication, seeking therapy for everyone, and you could involve a Family law expert if you need some expert advice on your financial situation.
If you run a business together, you may need to sell your business.
To help make your separation that little bit easier (although we know it will be difficult), we have put together our guide on tips for making it easier for you and your children.
Keeping A Routine
Routine is important in life, and having a good routine is especially important when going through a separation and making it easier for your children.
Keep any changes to their life to a minimum and stick to any routines you have created such as bedtimes, meals and don’t remove anything that’s a norm in their life, such as going to a sports club and going to school.
The less disruption the better.
Not Sharing Your Anger With Your Children
The reason you are separating may not be a nice reason.
It could involve your partner having an affair or not treating you very nicely.
It’s important to remember that they are still the other parent to your children and will be involved in their lives, even after the separation.
Also remember your kids are half of both of you so when you speak negatively about the other parent, they internalise this as being about them instead.
To make it easier for them, don’t speak badly about your other half and don’t involve them in any situations which are negative and that they don’t need to be involved in.
Being Open With Your Communication
Children aren’t stupid, and they will know more than you think about your situation.
Be age-appropriate and honest with your children about the separation.
Explain to them what’s happening, but in a friendly way, and try not to blame or overshare (this can be hard if you are the person something has been done to).
Reassure them that you both love them still and the separation isn’t their fault.
Give them the opportunity to ask any questions about the situation, as there may be things they want to get off their chest – the last thing you want is them suffering in silence as they don’t feel comfortable talking to you.
Get Professional Help
Therapy for yourself and your kids as well as legal advice are two types of professional help that is advisable at this time.
A therapist can guide you on the best ways to help your children, deal with all the emotions and be there for them, as well as process your own feelings.
You might not think you need a lawyer but seeking advice can be good either way.
It doesn’t mean you are going to do everything through lawyers, it’s simply knowing your options and what might be best for your situation.
I know too many people who didn’t seek professional help and it hurt everyone.
